Maintaining desire in a relationship with the same partner over time is challenging for many people. In fact, issues around sexual desire, or differences in desire within a couple are the top reason people seek sex therapy. The science around desire is startling, and knowing how desire works is the key to being in the driving seat of how you want desire to feature in your relationship moving forward. We give you all the knowledge and skills you need to understand how desire is currently featuring in your relationship (and why), and how to build a step by step plan to get it to feature in the way you'd like.
Course Curriculum
- Introduction and how to get the most out of this workshop series (2:27)
- Setting your own goals- how do you want things to be? (2:38)
- The biopsychosocial model of sex and why this is crucial (12:14)
- Case study - Mark and Amy (3:03)
- Reasons we have sex and why this matters to us and our relationships (6:57)
- TASK: Understandng the function that sex serves for you and in your relationship (2:34)
- What is desire? And what is it not? (6:29)
- Bringing this together - Amy and Mark
- The role of physical attraction
- How common are concerns about desire? (6:40)
- What's a normal amount of desire? (7:43)
- Recap: The difference between arousal and desire and why this is important
- Older models of desire and what we now know not to be true (6:15)
- Newer models of desire (7:49)
- TASK - mapping this model to your own experience
- Taking this forward with Amy and Mark (5:22)
- What we know so far (5:19)
- Sexual stimuli (8:39)
- TASK - sexual stimuli- 'hot or not' list
- Sexual currency (7:56)
- TASK - sexual currency overload
- Our brains and how they influence desire (6:22)
- Bringing this to life - Amy (7:58)
- TASK- your sexual biography
- How to get your mind working for you not against you during sex (4:45)
- TASK- putting the science of directing your attention into action
- Introduction and recap (11:52)
- Situational and biological factors influencing your desire (13:24)
- The role of reward in maintaining desire (7:35)
- Bringing this together with Amy and Mark (14:45)
- TASK: Developing your own model and generating solutions (2:57)
- TASK: Views about sex (1:43)
- Your views about sex: reflection (5:29)
Meet the workshop facilitator
Dr Karen Gurney is a highly specialised clinical psychologist and a European Society of Sexual Medicine certified psychosexologist.
She is a recognised national expert in the theory and practice of therapy around all aspects of sexual wellbeing and function and wrote and pioneered one of the first online interventions translating principles of sex therapy into online modules 10 years ago.
She is currently Lead Psychologist in sexual health. gender and sexual difficulties for the NHS at Europe's busiest sexual health clinic - 56 Dean Street, as well as Director of The Havelock Clinic, an independent sexual problems service based on Harley Street and in The City of London. Dr Gurney has almost 20 years experience of providing therapy round all aspects of people's sex lives.
Dr Gurney has written for and been featured in publications such as The Times, Cosmopolitan and Refinery29, and provided expert opinions on TV and radio for the BBC. She is a TEDx speaker, having spoken about 'The surprising truth about desire' in 2020.
Dr Gurney's book, 'Mind The Gap: the truth about desire and how to futureproof your sex life' was out in 2020 and was a best seller .